My most recent (and last,) heartbreak has refined me. The Lord has given me great wisdom that I’m grateful for. If I could rewind to approximately a year ago, I wouldn’t change anything to avoid it, but I would tell myself:
Young girl, pray, pray, pray. Go with the peace of the Lord always. Don’t ignore or throw away those red flags.
But waaaaaay prior to this, know yourself. And to know yourself is to know God. Then you shall operate from a place of love, and you’ll easily recognize if it is love or not by the Love residing in you, the temple.
Be friends. Calm your heart and for sure humble it. Oh, and guard it. Those feelings must be controlled by the Spirit until a time where they are appropriate. Be hopeful by the will of God, and may those feelings begin once the stated and clear intentions are bearing fruit.
Although that is the advice I wish I knew before, it seems that at least one romantic heartbreak per human is inevitable. So, here are my top five tips of bouncing back from a heartbreak, because you must bounce back my love. You can’t stay down.
1) Pray! There’s no way you can do it without Jesus. He’s gonna help you from being dumb. Trust me. Only He has the power to heal you, and help with the next few points.
2) Play your sad songs. Throw on the Etta & Adele with extreme wisdom. You’re gonna go through so many emotions, and acting like they aren’t there only hurts worse on the day when you can no longer, “have it together.” Don’t fake your pain. You’re hurt, and sometimes, all you can do is cry.
3) Don’t social media stalk! It’s hard. I know. Sometimes I was successful, and other times, not so much. You may want closure. Or maybe you want to commit social suicide by seeing him happy with her when you somehow wish he was just as torn up as you, (by the way, which has never happened to me. The him being torn up as me part. Never happened.) Whatever the case may be, he’s fine. Now go get fine too.
4) Talk back to those negative voices pressuring you! Don’t worry about your future, because worrying doesn’t add a single moment onto your life (Matthew 6:27.) You may get married, you may not. Tell that negativity that you’re content with the Lord’s will.
5) Heck no you can’t be “friends,” immediately after the breakup. Maybe someday later. But you know right now you want Little Roscoe to be your man. You haven’t even deleted your wedding Pinterest board because you aren’t over it. Get real.
Wearing Leith, Puma, Forever21, and a thrifted find. Photographed by Najee Rashad.
Those are my personal top 5! How do you bounce back from a heartbreak? Share with me your healthy post breakup tips in the comment section!
May God’s peace be with you!
The King Kali 
Great read. God bless!
Thank you! God bless you!
Great tips, I totally agree. You have to give yourself the time to feel those emotions first and then do what you have to do to move on. Trust God always!
Glory to God! I totally agree. I know I’m quick to try and ignore my emotions to keep it together and keep it moving, but I believe that it’s healthier to like you said, feel them, recognize them, work through them, all the while keeping it going by moving on. Thank you for your comment my love!
Exactly because it’s okay to feel emotions. You have to get to a place of being able to acknowledge them first before you can move forward. Then work your way through. That’s how we learn, we can know when we have been somewhere before and not go down the same path. God can reveal so much to someone during that time and although it’s tough…it’s worth it. Yes all Glory to God. You’re welcome!!!